You Are a Badass
What will you learn from this summary?
All the negative beliefs you have about yourself are all lies. If you think you cannot be successful, rich, happy, or attractive, then you are dead wrong. In this book, Jen Sincero will teach you how to love yourself more and to believe in what you can do. You will learn how to live in the moment, ignore criticisms and appreciate everything. The awesome life is within your reach. You just need to go and grab it.
Who should read this summary?
Couch potatoes; people who think they are broke, sad, and ugly; people who are jobless or stuck in a job they don’t like; people who want to finally make a difference in their life.
About the Author
Jen Sincero is a successful coach, motivational speaker, and best-selling author. She encourages people to transform their lives through her books, newsletters, speaking events, and seminars. Jen lives in Los Angeles, California but she travels all over the world to spread awesomeness.
You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
Do you lie on the couch all day watching Netflix or playing video games? Do you think that you are sad, ugly, fat, and broke? Are you stuck in a job or situation you don’t like? Do you want to change once and for all and do something meaningful with your life? Then this is the book for you. Jen Sincero used to be just like you. That is, until the day she decided that enough was enough. In this book, she shared how she transformed her life from a couch potato to a successful, happy, and confident woman.
In this book, you will learn how to love yourself more. You will learn about the old beliefs holding you back and how to change them. You will also learn how to be thankful, generous, and forgiving. You will learn how to fill your mind with thoughts that will let you live an awesome life.
My Subconscious Made Me Do It
When you were a baby, you were a real bundle of joy. You have cute wide eyes that live in the moment. You were never ashamed of your body. You took wonder at everything. As you grow, you learn from people around you. You inevitably pick up the beliefs of your family. It doesn’t matter if those beliefs are true. You pick them up anyway. You believe all those rules because you don’t know any better. When people say you are too fat, or that you should go to college, or you shouldn’t be an artist, you believe all of it.
Your parents love you and they want the best for you. They also picked up those beliefs from their parents. Your grandparents also picked up those beliefs from your great-grandparents. The world you grew up in is the opinions of people who came before you. This book will help you trample those old beliefs and create your own rules. Why? because it’s your life and you have every right to be happy. There is something we call the conscious mind and subconscious mind. The conscious mind is what we use to process and analyze information. This is where logic and decision-making come from. The conscious mind only becomes fully developed during puberty.
The subconscious mind deals with our instincts and feelings. It is already fully developed when we are born. This is the reason why children are irrational and emotional. Their conscious mind is not yet intact. The subconscious mind is where the beliefs and rules we learned as a child are stored. They remain there even as we grow older. We are not aware that the choices we make as an adult are influenced by the ideas that our parents taught us. For example, your father is not financially stable. He always grumbles about how hard it is to make money. He kicks the furniture, and he is grumpy all the time.
Your father doesn’t spend time with you because he is always trying and failing to make a decent living. As a child, your subconscious mind absorbs those beliefs with no filter. You learn that money means struggle. It causes pain. It is the reason why you’re neglected by your father. As an adult, you’ll likely be miserable with finances as well. You’ll stay broke even if you try to make money. If you end up having plenty of money, you’ll find ways to lose it because money means being abandoned by the person you love. Your subconscious mind lurks over you like a shadow and you are not aware of it. This book will help you break free from it and live the life you’ve always wanted.
Present as a Pigeon
A pigeon lives in the now. It doesn’t bother itself with the past or worries about the future. It just flies around looking for food. When a pigeon has eaten, it is satisfied and happy. Humans, meanwhile, are busy worrying and fuzzing. We all have our dramas in life, we seek approval and we complain about the small things. We don’t see the miracle that is happening around us right now. The Earth is constantly spinning on an imaginary circle. We have plants, air, and water. We can love, laugh, and make music. We have computers, cars, medicine, and muffins. The whole universe is filled with miracles. The fact that we don’t see the wonders of life every day is quite tragic.
Do we all need a near-death experience to see all the good things that we have? We need to learn from animals and babies. For example, a dog that hasn’t seen its owner for an hour will jump up and down when the owner gets back. You will see it very excited and happy. If the dog could talk, it must say, “You’re here and I’m here. I love you and I’m going to pee all over the floor because of it.”
Little kids live in the moment too. They are so happy exploring, learning, and pretending. They do not worry about what other people think. They don’t compare themselves with other children. A toddler will laugh, dance, sing and jump as much as he likes because it is fun and it’s all that matters. Everything that you need in life is already here. The money you want to get, the person you want to meet, the experience you want to have, all of it exists. You just need to make it a part of your reality.
Think of electricity. Electrons, positive and negative energy, and magnetism have always been here on Earth. It took geniuses like Nikola Tesla to tap into electricity’s potential and make it available to everyone. The point is that the things you desire are already here. You need to see it or see how you can get it. There’s a story about a Hindu lady who wants to see the god Krishna. She went deep into the forest to pray and meditate. After a while, Krishna revealed himself to her. He was standing right in front of her. Krishna told the lady to open her eyes. She said, “Please don’t bother me, Sir. I am doing something very important.”
Live in the moment. Don’t bother about the past or worry about the future. What matters is now. Focus on all the good things happening to you right in this very moment. Breathe deeply. Feel your heartbeat. See your loved ones and all the blessings you have. Be thankful. Trust that if you do the right thing in the present, the right things will also come to you.
Love the One You Is
When you were new in this world, you know how to breathe deeply. You know how to stop eating when you’re full, how to sing and dance as you like, and how to play, explore and love without limits. As you grow older and learn from other people, you pick up negative and false beliefs. Such as shame, fear, and self-doubt. You end up in physical and emotional pain. You try to cure it with alcohol, drugs, sex, TV, cheeseburgers, or whatever.
For example, all you ever wanted was to dance but people tell you it’s stupid. You have this big curly hair and people tell you you’re ugly. You feel that you are gay, but people tell you it’s wrong, so you hide your true self. You believe that you’re not good enough and you become miserable. All of these are lies. You have to learn how to love yourself again. You have to lose all those hateful feelings about yourself. Imagine how much change it will bring to your life if you just love everything about yourself. If you have the freedom to become whoever you want to be.
Appreciate yourself. You are special. There is no other person in the world exactly like you. No one else has the special talents and abilities you have. Embrace your unique self and create your path. Do the things you love as much as you can. Do not deny yourself of the people, things, food, and experiences that make you happy. If scuba diving makes you feel alive, do it. Life is short. Be proactive about getting the life of your dreams. Don’t make excuses. Don’t let yourself be stuck in an awful job, apartment or relationship. There’s always a way to make time, money, and effort. There are people all over the world doing yoga by the ocean, partying at a music festival, or flying an air balloon right now. You can be one of them.
Don’t ever compare yourself to other people. Imagine if the Beatles compared themselves to Beethoven. What if John Lennon said, “Hey, that guy is awesome, more awesome than we’ll ever be, and he doesn’t even have a drummer? Maybe we should get rid of our drummer and add some classical music.”Then we wouldn’t have the great rock and roll of the Beatles. Don’t concern yourself with the lives of other people. Enjoy your life and make it the best way you can. Love yourself because you are awesome and you deserve to be happy.
I know you are but what am I?
Do not worry about what other people think about you. That is a complete waste of time. When making a decision, there are three things you need to consider. First, is this what you want to be, do, or have? Second, is this going to take you where you want to go? Third, is there any person you may hurt in the process? That is all you need to know. Everything else is crap. Take for example the Wright Brothers. They succeeded in doing the first manned flight. In the 1900s, that is a daunting task.
‘Everybody thought that they were crazy and that they would fail. However, the Wright Brothers did it. They were able to ride and fly the airplane that they built. The New York Times said that manned flight wouldn’t happen for the next ten million years. Ten days after, the Wright Brothers made it. What if Wilbur and Orville Wright gave up? What if they listened to what all the journalists and the aeronautics expert said? Then they wouldn’t have succeeded. They wouldn’t have created the greatest invention of the century.
Remember this. What other people say about you has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with them. This means that the negative comments they tell you reveal the negative outlook they have on life. Think of the trolls and the bashers online. Maybe they sit on their computer all day looking for people to piss off. Think of the relatives, friends, or neighbors who criticize you. Maybe they have frustrations in life that they project on you.
Don’t give a crap. You will be much happier. Just do the things you love. What matters is that you don’t hurt other people. If you want to be an astronaut, a cheerleader, or a firefighter, or a marine biologist, go for it. Reach for the skies just like the Wright Brothers did.
Your Brain Is Your Bitch
Maybe you are sitting on your couch right now wearing a bathrobe and munching on a bag of Cheetos. This book tells you that you can turn your life around and hang out in the pool with the President of the United States of America. You say it’s impossible. You say that you cannot be this successful, attractive, rich, healthy, and happy person. You are wrong. It is possible. If you believe it’s true, then it will happen.
People look for evidence first before they believe. The truth is the other way around. You need to believe in yourself first then the evidence will come to you. Doors of opportunity will open if you believe you can succeed. Thus, the thoughts that fill your mind become your reality. For example, there is a group of people who want to become world-class chefs. They all enroll in an expert cooking class. They learn the same tools and techniques. Why is it then that only some of them succeed while some of them fail? Only those who believe in themselves and see themselves as successful chefs running a huge restaurant business will succeed. Those who have negative thoughts holding them back will not.
Fake it until you make it. Let’s say you want to hang out in the pool with the President of the USA. Begin by choosing the swimsuit that you will wear. Think of the topics you would like to talk about. Get yourself ready. Go to the places where you will meet people who can help you realize your dream. Always be open to opportunities. People may think you’re crazy but they won’t when they already see you sipping pinacolatos with the president. Upgrade your surroundings. If you want to stop being a couch potato and finally do something meaningful in your life, start by cleaning your mess on the table.
Sweep the floor and wash the dishes. Take a bath and wear decent clothes. Have a haircut or a shave. This will not only make you feel good. This will also send a message to the universe that you are ready for change. Surround yourself with positive people. Maybe you live with people who always complain and whine. Maybe you have friends who are pessimists and lazy. You’ve got to stop yourself from being influenced by them.
Go out there and find people who are inspired, successful and enthusiastic. Make friends with them. Absorb their positive ideas. You can also look online for writers, musicians, speakers, or artists whom you can learn a lot from. Little by little, you will see yourself become one of them.
Give and let give
Giving is one of the greatest joys in life. It is the strongest and most fearless gesture there is. To give means that we believe in a universe where there is enough for everyone. It is true that the more you give, the more you receive. Michelle suffers from multiple sclerosis. Her mentor told her to give away 29 things in 29 days as part of her treatment. Michelle didn’t take the advice seriously. Then her disease got worse. She figured she would give it a try.
On the first day, Michelle called her sick friend to check if she was okay. She also visited the neighbor to give some home-baked cookies. On the next day, Michele continued giving. She found herself looking forward to it every morning. On the 14th day, Michelle felt incredibly better. Aside from that, her business gained more profits. She also started a blog where she encouraged other people to give away their stuff. Michelle’s blog was read by thousands of followers all over the world.
Her successful blog led her to write the book 29 Gifts. It became a New York Times best-seller. If you want to attract good feelings and good opportunities in your life, you should start giving. The universe is wise. What you give, you also get in return. For every action, there is an equal reaction. Your good deeds would not go unnoticed. Here are tips on how to give and receive. First, pick a non-profit organization that you believe in. Donate some money or volunteer every month. Second, give your favorite possession to someone who wants it. Do it in secret if you can.
Third, give tips. Leave an extra coin or two to the waitress, parking valet, or taxi driver. It would mean a lot. Fourth, if you encounter someone rude, don’t react negatively. Lighten up the situation. Fifth, smile, give compliments, and tell jokes as often as you can. Sixth, accept invitations. It can be to attend a dinner, a party, or any event. Say yes even if you are shy or if you don’t want to hassle the person. Accept it anyway. Give people the chance to give to you.
Seventh, savor how great it feels to give and receive. Keep on doing it and keep on believing that more good stuff will come your way. Eight, love yourself because if you do, you can give love.
Gratitude: The Gateway Drug to Awesomeness
Showing gratitude, saying please or thank you, doesn’t only mean that you have good manners. It also means that you deeply appreciate the many blessings and miracles that happen in your life. It will make you feel good to receive something and thank the person who gave it to you. That person will also feel happy to be appreciated. Saying thank you and getting a thank you attracts positivity in your life. It welcomes more blessings to be thankful for.
Appreciate even those unfortunate things or events that happen to you. Always look on the bright side. For example, you got a flat tire after picking up your kids from school. If you remain calm, you get the opportunity to teach your kids how to handle a difficult situation. Also, the bright side is that you get to spend quality time with them. You can ask them how their day was or play some silly games while waiting for the repair service to come.
Write little thank you notes. Before you go to sleep, list down ten things you are thankful for that day. This can be anything from the beautiful flowers you saw, the lunch you had, or just your heart beating non-stop. You will realize what an awesome life you have by appreciating all the good things and even the not-so-good things.
Forgive or Fester
Do you have conflicts with your mother-in-law? Does your boss get to your nerves? Did you encounter someone rude while grocery shopping? Does someone cut you off while driving or squeeze themselves in front of a long line? Whatever it is that causes you anger and irritation just let it go. Stop replaying the bad experience in your mind. Stop arguing why the other person is wrong and why you are right.
Learn to forgive. The longer you are mad, the longer you’ll carry the pain. Forgiving is not about being nice to the other person. It’s about being nice to yourself. If you don’t forgive, you will be the one burdened with shame, guilt, regret, and hate. You will suffer, you will waste your time and you will not move on with your life. For example, you get into a conflict with a colleague. You argue and argue until you don’t get any important tasks done. It affects your entire team, your company, and the customers. The conflict doesn’t bring good to anyone. Let the other person win. Do not prove anymore that the other person is wrong and you are right. Do not seek revenge. Do not ask for an apology. Just get over it. Remember that it’s much better to be happy than to be right.
The Almighty Decision
It was said that Henry Ford had a crazy idea for the V-8 model. The engine had 8 cylinders. Ford wanted all of them to fit in one block. The engineers told him that it was impossible. 8 cylinders in one block cannot be done. Ford told them to keep working on it no matter how long it took. Each time his engineers failed, he told them to try again. Each time they said it was impossible, Ford said “Just keep working on it.” A year had passed. After one year of trying, the Ford engineers succeeded. They made the impossible possible.
This is what the almighty decision means. Henry Ford decided that it would happen and so it did. He stood by his decision even if it got tough and even if it cost him lots of money. Ford didn’t even have a high school education. Yet he went on to become the boss of highly-skilled engineers. This was because once he decided to reach a goal, he would do everything to reach it. Most of the successful people we know were losers once, but they did not give up until they finally won. Henry Ford went bankrupt when he was still building his empire. Michael Jordan has kicked off the high school basketball team because he wasn’t good enough.
Steven Spielberg was rejected three times on his film school applications. Soichiro Honda applied to Toyota as an engineer. He was rejected and began his own company. Beethoven’s teacher told him that he had no talent and no potential for composing. Fred Smith got a C on his Yale business paper. It was about overnight delivery service. Later on, he started FedEx.You can do anything. If you want it bad and if you are willing to do whatever it takes, you will achieve your dream. The key is to hold onto that decision to succeed, get rid of your old excuses, change your bad habits, and start moving.
You learned many ways to be a badass. You learned how to live an awesome life. You learned how to change old beliefs, how to live in the moment, and how to love yourself. You also learned to ignore what other people say and to fill your mind with positive thoughts. You learned how to share, give thanks and forgive. Try to apply them one by one. Imagine how much difference it will make. You are a wonderful person living in a wonderful universe. You are a badass. Believe it because it’s true.