Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It
Why should you read this summary?
Would you believe that one simple truth can have an impact on your life? Just saying three words every day can completely change who you are for the better. That is what happened to the author. He kept saying three words as much as he could. And it completely changed him. Want to know what these three words are? This book will reveal it to you.
Who should read this summary?
- Young professionals
- Anyone who is going through a difficult time in life
About the Author
Kamal Ravikant is an author, entrepreneur, and investor. He has invested in several companies and worked with the best engineers of Silicon Valley. He also wrote the novel entitled Rebirth and the book Live Your Truth. Kamal Ravikant is the older brother of Naval Ravikant, who is also an author and investor.
Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It
Kamal Ravikant, the author, did not consider himself extraordinary. Yet, he was invited to talk in front of an impressive crowd. There were CEOs, founders of billionaire companies, managers, and even high-ranking government officials.What did Kamal have to give to them? He did not invent something life-changing. He had no awards or special degrees. But when he talked, everyone was stunned. Everyone was moved. Kamal talked about how his life changed with one simple vow.
The author, Kamal Ravikant, was in a bad place. You could probably relate to Kamal as well. There would be days when you would just lie in bed, not wanting to get up. Even when you get up, you feel exhausted, like sleep did not energize you. You would go through the day not remembering what you did. Kamal was exactly like you. He did not want to deal with anything. He did not want to deal with his thoughts. He did not want to deal with the heartache of a dear friend passing away. Kamal did not want to deal with his business that was failing. In general, he did not want to deal with life. This period of his life continued for quite a while. But do you know what got him out of it? One day, Kamal woke up and realized he had reached his breaking point. He was done.
He was done being miserable. He was done with being in pain. He was done feeling sorry for himself. It was too exhausting. He grabbed a notebook and a pen and made a promise to himself. Kamal vowed that starting that day, he would love himself. He would start to treat himself the way he loved other people: truly and deeply. He would love his thoughts, actions, and choices. It was truly an enlightening moment for him. How could he love other people but not himself? Kamal had no idea how to go about it. But he settled with the simplest thing he could come up with. He started saying “I love myself” as much as he could. Lying in bed, he would say the phrase again and again. Sometimes, it took him hours. Of course, this repetition would make the mind wander. So, when he noticed that he was not paying attention anymore, Kamal would simply bring his attention back. He did not scold himself for getting distracted. It was just a part of the journey of loving himself.
Then, Kamal applied the mantra to his other routine. He would say it while he was showering. He would say it as he walked around the city. Saying he loved himself was an anchor that gave him meaning. Validating himself through self-love made him better. Before, Kamal did not want to think because he had bad thoughts. But then, he changed and he felt his mind become lighter and brighter. Opportunities at work popped up. His relationships with other people improved. Kamal got better. You would find it ridiculous that Kamal’s life got better because of saying “I love myself.” But there is power in words and repetition. The more you say something, the more you believe it. It is just simple logic. Focusing on one thought repeatedly, it influenced how Kamal saw the world.
Kamal’s “I love myself” practice quickly became famous. It was simple yet groundbreaking. Yet, people often asked him why he chose love. Why not, “I like myself”? Why not “I accept myself”?It is because love is the most primal and fundamental emotion. Ever since you were a baby, you have experienced love. It was in the way your parents took care of you. It was in the way your teachers patiently guided you through the lessons. Love is a conscious thing that you do. It is also a subconscious action. It is evident in the way you would protect your family and friends from harm. You might be saying that you do not love yourself. Kamal did not love himself at first either. But saying you love yourself reinforces the connection between the neurons in your brain. The more you think it, the more you believe it. Truly and deeply love yourself. Your body and mind will automatically respond to this. It will make you physically and mentally better. Do you know why? Because the brain is already wired for love. It knows that love nurtures and that love heals. When you love yourself, life loves you back. Kamal firmly believes in this.
What was Kamal’s whole practice, anyway? Kamal described it as a three-step practice that helped him have self-love. These three steps are mental loop, a meditation, and a question. Again, it all sounds basic. But the results were truly life-changing. When you truly and deeply love yourself, you would not hold yourself back. You would not be scared of the potential opportunities that come your way. It is because you are aware that you deserve nice and good things in life. And it all starts with self-love. Again, Kamal is aware that you might think this is ridiculous. Can loving yourself have that much of an impact on you? The answer is one hundred percent yes. It does not matter if you do not love yourself at first. What matters is you urge your mind to say it every day. Your mind will have no choice but to adapt and respond to your statement, “I love myself.”
Kamal lived in San Francisco. He often found himself gazing at the scenery before him. He would take note of the weather, and the movements of vehicles and people. Kamal did his observations daily. But there is another thought in his head. You guessed it right. He was repeatedly saying, “I love myself.”When he was buying groceries, Kamal would only mumble the phrase. When he was cleaning his house, he would say it out loud. He was dedicated to saying “I love myself” every single moment of every day. After all, what did he have to lose? It was not like he was losing money by saying he loves himself. Saying “I love myself” is a mental loop. Compare a thought to a path. Imagine that you go through a forest every day. With enough time, you can create a path in the forest that makes hiking much easier. A mental loop is a thought that you think about often.Make loving yourself your truth. Make a mental loop out of it that can disempower your negative thoughts. These are thoughts such as you are not good enough or happy enough. You have to say and think, “I love myself” every single day. You need to make a practice out of it for it to work.
Aside from saying “I love myself,” Kamal also meditates for seven minutes every day. Seven minutes is Kamal’s personal preference. Because every time he puts on soothing music to meditate, it is always seven minutes long. Kamal sits with his back against the wall and with his headphones on. As the music plays, he thinks of space and the Universe as a whole. For every inhale, he thinks, “I love myself.” As he exhales, he waits for a response from his mind or body. If there is none, then there is none. During these seven minutes, Kamal’s mind would wander. He does not get frustrated with himself. Instead, he just returns his attention to his breathing. For every inhale, he says, “I love myself.” For every exhale, he waits for a response from his mind and body. If you want to start meditating, there are 7 short steps.
First, put on soothing instrumental music. Second, lean back against something. It may be a wall or a chair. Cross or stretch your legs or any position that relaxes you. Third, close your eyes. Think of light and how it makes you feel. Fourth, slowly breathe in and think, “I love myself.” Do this slowly and gently. Fifth, breathe out. Let go of any feeling, memory, or fear that comes with your exhale. Do not get attached. Just focus on your inhales and exhales. Sixth, repeat steps four and five until the music ends. If your mind wanders, it is okay. Do not say that you cannot concentrate on meditating. Give yourself time. Seventh, when the music ends, open your eyes and smile. This simple exercise will make you feel lighter and happier.
It is easy to say “I love myself” in the comfort of your home. It is where you often say the mantra. But what happens when you go outside? When you encounter people who have negative mental loops? For instance, a person who says “I hate people”?This is where the one question comes from. You need to ask yourself this as you encounter negative people and your negative emotions. The one question is: If I loved myself truly and deeply, would I let myself experience this? The answer is always no. Instead of trying to get rid of the negativity, go back to the truth. Remember that you love yourself.
I’m in Love
Kamal was walking alongside his friends, Gabe and Hannah. Gabe and Hannah had been a couple for years now. When Kamal looks at them, he thinks of how beautiful they are together. Kamal told Hannah that she looks beautiful. Hannah just smiled and said that it was because she is in love. After the three of them had dinner, Kamal goes home. He reflects on what Hannah said. It is true. Love makes you feel physically and mentally good. Even if it is not loved by another person, love still makes you glow. Self-love that is true and deep makes you shine. It makes other people drawn to you because of how warm you are. When you love yourself, other people cannot help but love you too.
Kamal has another meditation routine that he is a bit hesitant to share. He worries that people might think he is crazy. But this has helped him sincerely believe that he loves himself. The meditation routine involves five steps. First, set a timer for five minutes. Second, find a mirror and stand in front of it. Your nose should be only a few inches away from the mirror. Take long, deep breaths. Third, look yourself in the eye. It might be hard to look at yourself with both eyes, so look with your left eye first. Fourth, while you are looking at your left eye, say, “I love myself.”It is okay if you do not believe it at the moment. If you keep repeating this exercise, you will eventually truly and deeply love yourself. Fifth, say “I love myself” with your right eye. Then, switch from eye to eye. Take note of your facial expressions when you say the phrase. When the five minutes are up, smile to yourself. Loving yourself is a gift. It sets you free.
Love and Memory
Any study and any scientist can confirm this as truth: memory is not set in stone. What does this mean? It means that you can forget about memory if you do not keep remembering it. The opposite is also true. The more you remember a memory, the more it will reinforce the neuron connections in your brain. In other words, the more you remember it, the stronger the memory becomes. A person’s state of mind is also a huge factor in remembering memories. Think of a relationship you had in the past. Specifically, think about it when you are sad or miserable. Automatically, you will only remember the bad parts of that relationship. The same thing also happens when you are happy. You will only remember the good parts of that relationship. Your state of mind acts as a filter for your memories.
It focuses on things that reflect your emotions. The next time you feel a negative emotion, change your filter. Do not try to get rid of the negative emotion. Instead, see it differently. Choose love. Say “I love myself” as you go through the negative emotions. Over time, your brain will be rewired. Every time you experience anything unpleasant, you will automatically love yourself. You will not feel hopeless anymore. Love makes you remember that there is a calm after the storm. Love makes you remember that bad things have an end.
Richard Bandler co-founded neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). He is also a well-known consultant for people with schizophrenia. Doctors, families of patients, and mental institutions often sought his help. Bandler’s most memorable case was that of a man who hallucinated about snakes. The man, who was named Harry, was considered untreatable. He would often scream and get violent daily. Harry hallucinated that snakes were everywhere and that they were sliding towards his body. It got so bad that he was admitted to a mental hospital. Bandler needs to help Harry see reality again. And so Bandler took a walk. He had to find a solution to this problem. On his walk, Bandler passed by a pet store. The pet store had a barrel full of fake rubber snakes. He was impressed because the snakes looked real. Bandler then rented the whole barrel and placed the snakes in Harry’s bathroom. The pet store owner also came along so that he could place real snakes in the bathroom too.
The snakes were well-trained, and they did not harm Harry when he came in. It was no surprise that Harry panicked when he entered the bathroom. He was terrified, and he immediately started screaming. But Bandler would not let him out. Harry could only get out if he could identify the real snakes, the rubber snakes, and the snakes he was hallucinating. Immediately, Harry pointed to the real snakes and rubber snakes. Bandler was surprised when he correctly identified each one. Harry said that the hallucinated snakes are transparent. Bandler found out that Harry was aware that he was just hallucinating the snakes. However, Harry was so terrified that he could not differentiate between what was real and not. So, Bandler worked with Harry. They discussed each day what was real and what was not. Eventually, Harry was cured. Being afraid is an unpleasant feeling. But you cannot make the fear go away by fighting or denying it. Instead, focus on what is real. Focus on what is the truth. Fear is like being in darkness. Focusing on what is real and what is the truth is like opening the light switch.
There is magic to realizing that you are truly and deeply loving yourself. This self-love extends to other aspects of your life. Kamal has experienced it firsthand. As he was walking home, a strong breeze ruffled his clothes. It was refreshing since it was a hot summer day. Kamal looks up at the sky. He looks at the people around him. They are all busy walking toward their destinations. A sense of gratefulness washes over him. He felt lucky to be alive right now. He loves living. He loves his life. This moment can be achieved by anyone. And when you do arrive at this moment, it feels amazing. It will give you a new perspective on life. What also helped Kamal to reach this moment was to let go. He let go of things that fed his ego. He let go of who he thought he should be. Instead, he concentrated on who he is now. Because of this, the real Kamal emerged. He accepted all his flaws and imperfections. He was not hiding anything about himself. It was a truly magical moment. Kamal became his authentic self.
Kamal realized that he had old beliefs and thinking patterns he needed to let go of. He had to let go of them to succeed. This realization came with loving himself truly and deeply. Because of his self-love, he started seeing things differently. For instance, Kamal always knew growth was important to him. But it was through self-love that he realized how he could truly achieve growth. For Kamal, it was surviving intense and difficult situations. And so, Kamal joined the US Army Infantry a few years back. It was one of the most challenging things to ever happen to him. But Kamal looks back on it with pride. The training helped shape him into the person he is now. He thought that if he survived that, he could survive everything else. Another milestone was becoming an entrepreneur. Having a startup company is not easy. There is always the fear that it will go under. You wonder if you are doing what is best for the company and your employees. Through self-love, Kamal realized that his need for growth overpowered his fears. Kamal was driven not to fail. So, Kamal did his best every single day. He worked hard to be where he is now.
People often told Kamal that he was selfish. As a human, he should put others first. Kamal understands this perspective. Being unselfish is needed for the human race to survive. But loving yourself first is like when the oxygen drops in an airplane. You have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you can help other people. Loving yourself changes things. You become more patient with the people around you. It makes interacting with difficult people a lot easier. In loving himself, Kamal created better situations for himself. He had a better life in general.
Kamal knows that loving yourself is a thing that a lot of self-help books say. He is also aware of the hundreds of seminars, speakers, and workshops about loving yourself. Kamal thinks that all of this is unnecessary. Instead, each person should just pick one thing. Pick one thing that feels true for you. Then you should practice it every single day. You should dedicate your life to that one truth. When you are fully committed to something, that is where the magic happens. Kamal said “I love myself” which was the end for him. It was putting an end to the self-pity, misery, and sadness he was experiencing. Dedicating yourself to one truth will take time. You will be lazy to do it. But Kamal begs you to do it. The results will be worth it.
First, you learned about Kamal’s past and how miserable he was. He was going through a tough time. Yet, it was during that time that he discovered his simple truth. To get over challenges and be strong, Kamal learned to love himself. Second, you learned that a simple statement such as “I love myself” has great power. Kamal said it out loud every single day. No matter what he did, the statement was always in his mind. The power of affirmation and repetition turned his life around. Third, you learned that you do not have to initially believe that you love yourself. Just keep saying the statement. You will eventually believe it. Kamal had a practice that involved three steps to reinforce self-love. There is the mental loop, meditation, and one question. Fourth, you learned that loving yourself can have a positive impact on you mentally and physically. It is a simple and basic emotion. But it can boost your overall well-being. It will give you perspective whenever you encounter a challenging situation.
Fifth, you learned that loving yourself is not selfish. It even helps you to love other people better. Loving yourself makes you realize what truly matters to you and what helps you grow. It might seem impossible that the only thing Kamal did to turn his life around was to say three words. Today’s world makes us think that everything has to be complicated to be effective. But human nature was not designed like that. Give it a try. Keep at it. You have nothing to lose if you do it. Say “I love myself” and slowly see how it makes you feel better and how it makes your life better. It is worth a try.